Woman Bans Her Mother-in-law From Wedding After MIL Buys a White Gown to Wear, Fiancé Gets Involved

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 10, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. A wedding is a special occasion for the bride and groom, and usually the bride has a bit more preferences about the way things should go. Because it's customary for the bride to wear white on her big day, it's typical that guests refrain from wearing that color. It's bad luck, and it's just plain rude. It's saying, 'I don't care that it's your day, I'm going to make it about me.' This can be especially obvious and hurtful when it's not just any guest, but it's your mother-in-law. Way to start things off on the wrong foot…

That's exactly what happens in this Reddit piece. The bride has told her mother-in-law countless times that she doesn't want her to wear a white or ivory dress to the wedding, but any other color is fair game. What does the mother buy? A white dress…but you'll have to read the full story below to know what ultimately unfolds. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH • 1 day ago Ldrizz15 AITAH for telling my future MIL not to come to the wedding if she doesn't change her outfit?
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 02
    I (26F) am getting married to my fiancé (26M) in a few months time. I offered to go shopping with my future MIL for her outfit as she only has sons and I thought this would be a fun thing to experience together. She turned me down and decided to go with a friend instead.
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 03
    We had multiple conversations about what kind of outfit she would end up with, and specifically spoke about how I wasn't ok with guests wearing white or ivory, as in my eyes this is something that should be reserved for the bride.
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 04
    She went shopping for her outfit yesterday, and sent me photographs of so many beautiful outfits that she tried on while she was still in the store. I answered right away and we were texting the whole time. I should probably mention that none of these outfits are white or ivory.
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 05
    Yesterday evening, I checked in to see if she had been successful, and she then sent a photograph of the outfit she had bought, asking what I thought of it. It was not one of the photos she had already sent, and the dress is white. The store she bought it from is not cheap, and doesn't
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 06
    offer refunds or returns, which I know from shopping there previously.
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 07
    I was FURIOUS. I spoke with my fiance and he agreed with me that it seemed she had purposefully been decietful because the dress is white. We agreed that the dress is lovely but that the colour is crossing a line.
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 08
    I haven't responded to MIL yet as I don't really know what to say. I don't want to be a 'bridezilla' but at the same time this is a boundary that I had established before she went looking for an outfit.
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 09
    My fiancé has spoken to MIL, he hasn't mentioned my feelings about the dress but she has told him that she doesn't think I like it. When he asked her why she thought that, she stopped answering.
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 10
    Would I be the if tell her she can't wear the dress to our wedding?
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 11
    EDIT: for those of you suggesting I change my dress, it's already bought so that's not an option. We also don't have many guests as we are keeping things small, and as my bridesmaids are not wearing white there are only 2 or 3 other women coming to the wedding, so suggesting they wear white also isn't going to pay off.
    via u/Ldrizz15
  • 12
    DELILAHBELLE2605 • 1d ago NTA. What your fiance needs to do is ask to see the dress and the HE tells her it's inappropriate to wear white. His mom, his issue. He can be a big boy and take care of this for you.
    via u/DELILAHBELLE2605
  • 13
    celticmusebooks 1d ago Instead of going for "angry" when you talk to her go for "disappointed" and "embarrassed" for her.
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 14
    Tell her that any guest wearing white is such a HUGE social etiquette blunder but for the mother of the groom it's so much worse of a faux pax that you feel all of the guests will be talking about her poor manners and social backwardness. Tell her you
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 15
    were clear about the dress NOT being white or off white-- and ask her directly why she intentionally picked a dress that would be so embarrassing for her son's wedding.
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 16
    Tell her that she's an adult and, of course you can't force her to wear an appropriate dress, but that you will need to minimize her position in the wedding to avoid embarrassment and obviously she won't be in any of the pictures.
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 17
    Tell her if the problem was that she somehow wasn't financially able to buy an appropriate dress you would be happy to help her buy something proper or perhaps the inappropriate dress could be dyed another color. Perhaps mention how weird it is that she sent you
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 18
    photos of wedding appropriate dresses and then purchased an inappropriate dress. Ask her if there was a reason for that which you're just not understanding.
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 19
    NTA but your MIL is going to be trouble going forward if you and your finance don't get her under control.
    via u/celticmusebooks
  • 20
    Foundation Winter... 1d ago NTA! My response would be -"Ha ha, very funny! I know you would never embarrass yourself by wearing white to a wedding and have people laugh at you. I'd love to see a photo of your real dress."
    via u/Foundation Winter
  • 21
    BriefHorror • 1d ago NTA but hubby should be handling this "Mom you cannot wear that dress to our wedding"
    via u/BriefHorror

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